Munna Bhai M.B.B.S. (2003)
Sanjay Dutt: Murli Prasad 'Munna Bhai' Sharma
Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, did you know that there are 206 bones in the body?... We never thought about that while breaking them, did we?
Circuit : [Answering the phone] Who is this?
Murli Prasad Sharma : Its your dadm who do you think?
Circuit : Bro, How are you Bro?
Murli Prasad Sharma : i need a body
Circuit : Body? who's body Bro?
Murli Prasad Sharma : you know, the one they use for dissection, one of those bodies.
Circuit : Bro, how am i going to find one of those bodies?
Murli Prasad Sharma : how would i know? just find one!
Circuit : Dump the tension bro, you concentrate on your studies, i'll organize a body
[he looks out onto the street and see's a chinese tourist taking pictures of some of the other gang members posing for the camera]
Circuit : Bro, will an imported body do?
Murli Prasad Sharma : yeah it will, just bring it quickly!
Circuit : i'll be there in ten minutes bro, just ten minutes!
Circuit : Hey Butkya... get a sack
Butkya : Right away
[leaves to get a sack]
Chinese tourist : [taking pictures of Munna's gang members posing for the camera while doing there laundry] Thankyou! Thankyou!
Circuit : [walking to the chinese tourist] hey Chilli chicken, you wanna take some photos of an ambulance, its a five-star ambulance?
Chinese tourist : No, i want real india, poor people, hungry people!
Circuit : poor hungry people, inside the ambulance, they are really bleurghh!
Chinese tourist : Really? okay good!
Circuit : Hey Hakka Noodle, youve come in from abroad and you only wanna see naked, hungry people, dont you want to see the taj mahal?
Chinese tourist : no no, hungry and poor men!
Butkya : [Runs up with a small shopping bag] Bro will this bag do?
Circuit : [looks at the bag, takes and it whacks him across the head with it] you stupid! how the hell am i going to fit him in? am i going to fold him in there? hey you?
[to the chinese tourist]
Circuit : How long are you?
Chinese tourist : 5 foot six
Circuit : [to the gang member] get a six foot bag!
[to the chinese tourist]
Circuit : you come with me, you dont want to see taj mahal, i will show you hungry indian!
[leads him into the ambulance]
Chinese tourist : [from inside the ambulance, as circuit knocks him out] Argh!
Murli Prasad Sharma : [slapping a goon] You over-acting piece of@#%! You're supposed to have a kidney problem, and instead you have a heart attack!
[He points to another goon disguised as a patient]
Murli Prasad Sharma : Look at this chap - what a natural actor! He's been playing the same role for three years and Papa's never recognised him!
Murli Prasad Sharma : It's just what I feared... lymphoma of the intestines...
Dr. J. Asthana : Are there any questions?
Murli Prasad Sharma : Yes, sir... If a man is dying in the admission ward, is it necessary for him to fill our a form?
[a shocked Asthana dismisses the class, but the next day... ]
Murli Prasad Sharma : Sir, I asked you a question yesterday that you didn't answer - can't you answer it today?
Murli Prasad Sharma : Wow, Anand bhai, you look like a hero! All the nurses are going to fight over you!
[Circuit and Munna have just kidnapped someone]
Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, I said "Point the gun," not "Shoot out all of Mumbai!"
Circuit : Chill out, bro - these are blanks, they only sting!
[He grabs their captive, who was trying to escape]
Circuit : Hey, Flo Jo, even THEY can do the job at close range! Do you want me to try it out?
Murli Prasad Sharma : [seeing goons taking down the hospital sign] HEY! Don't touch that signboard! My father's name is on that sign! Hands off! Bastards! Don't you dare!
[He goes berserk, and has to be restrained by Circuit]
Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, I've decided I'm going to be a doctor...
Circuit : Uh... bro, why don't you go to sleep, and we'll talk about it in the morning...
Murli Prasad Sharma : I knew you'd say that - you think I'm sloshed, don't you? I'm serious!
Circuit : But, bro, what's the point?
Murli Prasad Sharma : The point? Circuit, the point is that my father will be proud of me! You should've been there - that baldy stood there insulting my father, and I just kept quiet! I'll show him! I'll become a doctor like him and marry his daughter! Circuit, find me the best medical college in Mumbai...!
[Munnabhai is on the phone when his gang tells him he has entered the college]
Murli Prasad Sharma : Ninavati Hospital? Hang on a moment! Lilavati Hospital? I can't come to work today! Apollo Hospital? Hold your horses! Huh? Bread Candy Hospital? Hold, man, hold, I am busy...
[He hangs up and with Circuit and the others, rushes off to celebrate]
Murli Prasad Sharma : [singing] My name? You haven't heard yet? Munnabhai... M.B.B.S.!
[Circuit accompanies Munnabhai to his college room]
Circuit : [looking around] What the...? It ends almost right where it begins!
Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, do you know why God sent me to this college?
Circuit : God certainly never told me!
Murli Prasad Sharma : Because he wants me to settle a score with the man who made my father cry!
Circuit : Okay, if it's settled with God, all right!
Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, have you ever felt as though you were going to die?
Circuit : You know that dude Shakeel?
Murli Prasad Sharma : Yeah?
Circuit : He once went after me with a knife - I thought I was gonna go that day!
Murli Prasad Sharma : Not that, Circuit - I meant, have you ever felt as though you were fatally ill, and could only wait, helpless? Watching the clock and calendar go by like a time bomb, and your life, your dreams coming face to face with THE END...
Circuit : Bro, my mother used to say that we became stars when we die...
[He starts pointing at stars in the sky]
Circuit : Look, there's my father - the bugger used to beat me a lot! And there's Uncle - he was a cool dude! Hey... where's Mom? Aaah, Mumbai's getting too polluted, man...
[after Munna is expelled, he and Circuit are wandering around in a drunken stupor]
Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, I've decided I'm going back to the village!
Circuit : [flourishing two tickets] I knew it - that's why I've brought TWO railway tickets!
Murli Prasad Sharma : But what will you do in the village? You can't even handle a plough!
Circuit : Bro, if I do that, then what will the cows do?
Dr. Suman Asthana : [about Anand] Murli, what's the point of talking to him? Nothing you say to him will reach his ears!
Murli Prasad Sharma : So what if his ears can't hear it, he hears it with his heart! You see, when two people share a strong connection, then they can communicate to each other through their hearts...
Dr. Suman Asthana : You're too much, Murli...
[She leaves, but Munna tries to prove his point]
Murli Prasad Sharma : [thinking] Ms. Suman, I hope you can hear me...
Murli Prasad Sharma : [thinking] Mike testing, 1, 2, 3...
Murli Prasad Sharma : [thinking] Ms. Suman, I think I'm in love with you...
[At this, Suman finally turns and looks at Munna. She smiles, blushes and leaves]