The Great Ziegfeld (1936)
Anna Held: [on the phone with Ziegfeld after learning of his marriage to Billie Burke] Hello, Flo... Yes. Here's Anna... I'm so happy for you today, I could not help calling you and congratulate you... Wonderful, Flo! Never better in my whole life!... I'm so excited about my new plans! I'm going to Paris... Yes, for a few weeks, and then I can get back, and then I'm doing a new show, and... Oh, it's all so wonderful! I'm so happy!... Yes... And I hope you are happy, too... Yes?... Oh, I'm so glad for you, Flo... Sounds funny for ex-husband and ex-wife to tell how happy they are, oui?... Yes, Flo... Goodbye, Flo... Goodbye...
[She hangs up]
Anna Held: Darling...
[she falls to her bed, sobbing]
Marie: My poor, petite! If you love him so, why did you divorce him?
Anna Held: Because I thought it would bring him back to me. I was sure that it would bring him back to me.
Billie Burke: I'm here.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Yes, and so am I.
Billie Burke: But it must seem like kindergarten to you.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Why?
Billie Burke: The great Mr. Ziegfeld, producer of the Follies, surrounded by hundreds of beautiful women, sitting on a bench holding hands, watching the riverboats go back and forth. Doesn't sound a bit like you, does it?
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: No, it doesn't. But, here I am, sitting on a bench, holding hands and watching the riverboats go back and forth... And regretting all the years I haven't known you.
Billie Burke: Didn't Anna Held take up a few of those years?
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Yes, Billie, she did. She was truly a wonderful woman.
Billie Burke: I love you for saying that.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Look, there's another ferryboat going across to the Palisades. Will you keep your eyes on it while I tell you something?
Billie Burke: Must I look at a ferryboat to listen to you?
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Yes, or I won't be able to tell you.
Billie Burke: You mean the great lady's man is bashful?
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Strange as it may seem... in your presence, he is.
Billie Burke: All right, I'm looking.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: I love you, Billie.
[Billie turns to look at him. Flo points]
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: The ferryboat... I haven't anything to offer you, because there's nothing that you really seem to need. You've made the most of yourself unassisted, and that's grand. But
[Billie starts to face him]
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Ferryboat. You're a great star already, so there's little I can offer you. Nothing I can give you... except my love.
Billie Burke: That isn't enough... I expect part of your ambition, half of your trouble, two-thirds of your worries... and all of your respect.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: [after catching Ray Bolger doing a little softshoe backstage] Buddy, you're better with your feet than you are with your broom.
Ray Bolger: Mr. Ziegfeld, you think so? Gee, I wish you'd give me a chance. I've got talent, and I'd like to get away from shifting scenery and moving props.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: How long have you been a property boy?
Ray Bolger: Five years, but my heart hasn't been in it.
Ray Bolger: You've been working a long time without your heart, buddy.
Hotel doorman: Do you realize you gave me five pounds?
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Yes, I'm trying to lose weight.
Fanny Brice: Tell Mr Ziegfeld, I'm not in and if I was in, I wouldn't see him and if I did see him, tell him, I wouldn't buy a thing.
Fanny Brice: If I can give Belasco four dollars for silk stockings made of cotton, I can give Ziegfeld a little more for a mink coat made of skunk.
Little Egypt: Oh, Jack, is Ziegfeld a friend of yours?
Jack Billings: Yes, we've been pals for years, but you wouldn't like him.
Little Egypt: No?
Jack Billings: No, he's up one day and down the next. If he got $10,000 tomorrow, he'd spend it on the girl he happened to like tomorrow night. You wouldn't want to waste your time meeting a felloe like that.
Little Egypt: Oh, not if I met him on the right night.
Sampson: This is about talent.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Something good and cheap no doubt?
Sampson: Exactly! It's a young girl named Brice... Fanny... Fanny Brice. She;s working in burlesque.
Gene Buck: Say, I've seen that girl, Flo!
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Pretty?
Gene Buck: Well, yes and no. Shut your eyes and listen - yes! Open 'em and look - no, but a great performer!
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: We shall have a look at her at once - tonight!
Sandow: This cheese is so strong it could walk over and say hello to your coffee.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Well, it had better not. This coffee's too weak to answer it.
Billie Burke: I wonder what General Grant would think if he knew we were using the very shadow of his tomb as our meeting place?
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Well, I never knew the general personally but I have an idea that he'd approve.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: [Scolding the wardrobe man for having dressed Miss Brice in an inappropriately showy costume] How do you expect Miss Brice to sing a sad song about her man, dressed up like a nightingale? I find personalities, and you try to destroy them. I didn't engage Miss Brice as a showgirl.
Clarence: [after having altered Miss Brice's costume to the bare minimum] Is that all right, Mr. Ziegfeld?
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Well, it's all right for now. Tomorrow, get her another outfit. And don't make it, buy it. Go to a second-hand store and get her an old dress. She's supposed to be a, an apache, a poor French girl, an urchin!
Clarence: [meekly] Yes, sir.
Fanny Brice: [looking disappointed] So, to work for Mr. Ziegfeld, I gotta' be an urchin. Even in burlesque I was middle class.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: [after he has hired Jack Billings' valet away from him] Gentlemen never argue about gentlemen's gentlemen.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: [referring to Fanny Brice, after her audition performance] She's all right. She's gonna' be great.
Sampson: And I discovered her!
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: [to Sampson] That's right, Sam, and you deserve a raise.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: [to the other men in the room] And I'd give it to him, but I'm afraid he wouldn't approve of the expense.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Oh, Sidney, I'm so terribly broke.
Sidney: But sir, isn't Mr. Billings going to help you?
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Sidney, he hasn't a nickel. He was lying to me just to make me feel better. We're both broke.
Sidney: I wouldn't worry about that, sir. You've been broke before, sir.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Yes, I know. I've always laughed about it. But I can't laugh anymore, Sidney, because I've been wrong. I've got nothing. Nothing to leave anyone.
Sidney: Nothing, sir? You leave them the memories of the finest things ever done on the stage, sir. You'll leave them a name that they can be proud of all their lives. You'll soon feel better, and then you can do more beautiful things than ever before, sir.
Burlesque Prima Donna: Once in burlesque, always in burlesque, unless you got looks, or a voice, or something.
Fanny Brice: Well, that's what I got, kid.
Burlesque Prima Donna: What?
Fanny Brice: Something.
Wife at Chicago World's Fair: [after watching the strongman's barbell act] 750 pounds, my foot!
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: [overhearing her and after a double take] I wonder what her TOTAL weight is?
Sampson: They want the cash.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Did you mean they're telling me that they sent the costumes for this show COD?
Sampson: No, sir, not this show. They want some money on the last show.
Fanny Brice: [Admiring herself, and her showy costume, in the mirror] Look at ya'. You're workin' for Mr. Ziegfeld now, and ya' look like a million dollars. For the first time in your life, you're class, ya' mug.